Friday, January 17, 2014

The Passage of Time

Firsts...

    - first birthday of hers
    - first phone call
    - first bad weather check-in
    - first July 4th
    - first birthday of mine
    - first birthday of his
    - first anniversary of theirs
    - first Thanksgiving
    - first Christmas Letter
    - first Christmas Day
    - first New Years

    These have passed without them

    These still to come

     - first anniversary of her passing
     - first anniversary of his passing

When Will I...

    - no longer feel like I'm walking in mud with galoshes strapped to my feet
    - no longer have dark moments feeling so sad
    - no longer remember their last days shrouded in pain

And when will I...

    - remember their sweet smiles,
          their encouraging words,
          the sound of their voices,
          the brightness of their laughter

    - memories of good times

    - memories of wise words and life lessons

The truth is all of this happens together, all at the same time, no straight line.  Some sweet days, some hard days, days of laughter, days of sorrow, lots of mixed days.  Days of normalcy or at least a new normal.

Time is a necessary part of the process.  A necessary ingredient.  Passing days allowing time to do its beautiful work.

Time, annual markers, memories, hugs, laughter, encouragement, tears and gratitudes … all part of the healing.