Sunday, August 10, 2008

A Lesson from Molly

Last week my husband and I took care of a 5 month old kitten for a friend. This was his second extended stay with our animals (2 cats and 2 dogs). Several weeks ago he spent ten days in our house when this same friend cared for our animals while we were gone.

Molly, my sweet, sweet cat, really struggled with the new kitty. She growled and hissed when he came near, but thank goodness she was never aggressive. She just seemed snarky over the interloper who seemed to steal our affection and attention. (The kitty, Trypod, worked his way into our hearts quite easily I might add. He was hit by a car when he was very small and now has a bum foreleg. Our friend rescued him and nursed him back to health. He is amazingly agile and adorable on those 3 1/2 legs.)

At times when I tried to pet Molly she lashed out with her claws and, of course, I backed away. But after several days I decided to just sit and talk to her, but not pet her. After awhile I could see a visible calm and eventually, she let me pet her. I discovered she really did want us to spend time with her, but just not too close.

Well, the day before Trypod left Molly came to sit with me as I was writing in my journal. She lay right next to my thigh for a little bit and then snuggled very close. (I love this!!) I kept writing in my journal and would periodically pet her head.  After a bit I was thinking about how special Molly is to us and I bent over pressing my lips to her head as I often do and said these words:

Molly, don't you forget YOU are loved! 
Don't you ever forget that!!
We love you so very much.  

I had tears in my eyes because the truth is we really do love her even though we had this little kitty with us.

As I said these words to my Molly I recognized a deep gnawing pain inside my guts. I can't help but wonder if I'm not a little bit like Molly. Sometimes I forget I am deeply loved. I forget this and then I lash out and pull back, but the truth is I really just want to be connected and accepted. When I remember I am deeply loved the fear subsides. I'm more open to give and receive. The pieces in my life seem to fit better.

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