We tossed around the idea of remodeling the garage for several years. I can take no credit, none whatsoever, for conceiving the idea or walking forward past the idea stage. I often tell B if it were up to me we wouldn’t have done any of the home improvements we’ve completed over the years. We would still have the cruddy old carpet, old windows, and probably still have old renters white paint throughout the house. And most certainly we would not have our awesome dishwasher (I love that thing).
Although I am relatively tight with money, the bigger reason for my hesitancy is risk. To accept risk is to risk failure. Fear of failure sometimes hamstrings me from even taking prudent risk. I realized that in some types of decisions I seek a 100% confidence in my decision, which means it takes an inordinate amount of time to make a decision and after making a decision I rethink it, which causes confusion for the people involved. This tendency happened again this weekend while we were discussing our improvement design. We worked through the conflict to a fruitful end, but it was a painful discussion.
This is a common theme in my life at the moment especially at work. I’m learning that taking risk sometimes means making decisions with only partial information. If I (or others) make a reasonable decision based on the information available at the time, then when new information or hindsight comes along I cannot judge that decision. I can learn from the process, but concluding that I or others are bad or imprudent is harsh. I think the lesson I’m learning is that evaluating myself or others using a moving target is not at all fair or just.
I wonder what other lessons are in-store for me. Hopefully, the next few posts will be a little bit more light hearted. :)