Tuesday, July 03, 2012

Love and Rejection

Earlier this year I reread Hinds' Feet on High Places by Hannah Hurnard.  I first read the book about 15 years ago and loved it.  Again it speaks volumes.  I came across a line spoken by the Shepherd to Much-Afraid as she described her fears about the hurt and pain a loved one can cause.  The Shepherd acknowledges that loving means being vulnerable to pain and he says:

"But it is happy to love...it is happy to love even if you are not loved in return. There is pain, too, but Love does not think that very significant."

During lunch with a friend recently, she shared about a painful experience when she felt rejected by an inadvertent dismissal of a suggestion of hers by a loved one.  In working though her intense reaction, she held her tongue, acknowledged the pain and heard its message.  Although the pain was intense she had a light bulb moment when she realized this pain was a momentary discomfort and not a crisis.  How much she wanted to reject back, but decided not to.

Soon she found herself thinking about another relationship marked by rejection of her and and with compassion she began extending sweet, sweet grace to these old painful memories.  She knew the other person began life rejected and continued experiencing rejection during their early life.   They never learned how to experience risk by reaching out to people.  Never experienced those connections that include a give and take, compromise.  These are all part of the fabric of relationship.

My friend's experience is serving as an example for me.  This is something I need to work on this year.  I hope I can find and extend the same grace.


You have heard that it was said, 
‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’  
But I tell you, 
love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 
that you may be children of your Father in heaven.  
He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, 
and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.  
Matthew 5:43-45 (NIV)



alexis nicole said...

That is one of my favorite verses (Matthew 5:43-45) I have this book and the second book and I need to pick it up again! Grace is such a wonderful thing. I've learned how wonderful and healing it can be over the last couple years.

Small Glimpses said...

Alexis - Thanks for stopping by my blog and commenting on this post. I reread the post and know this is a message I need again today ~ "Sometimes loving means making oneself vulnerable to pain". Gosh it's so hard sometimes, but remembering that grace is there gives me courage to keep stepping out. Thanks for writing your words and reminding me of this. Blessings!